A Homecoming to Forget Page 17

  Just then my dad walked in, I didn’t know if I should welcome the interruption or not. “Got some news.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Henry’s … he’s not doing well.”

  I let out a small cry. “Can you help him, daddy?”

  “I’m here with you.” My dad pulled me into a hug, maneuvering around all the tubes hooked into me, hydrating my body again.

  “Please, I’m okay. Just go fix Henry.” I sniffed into his shoulder. It was true, I was going to be okay. I know he didn’t want to leave my side after all that has happened, but Henry needed him.

  “I’ll do what I can,” he said.

  “It’s just weird that he showed up.” I said, as my dad pulled away from me. “Why was he even there?”

  “He said he got a strange message from you, just like me,” Trey said.

  I looked at Trey and covered my mouth. “If he hadn’t have come you might be ...”

  “And you, because you weren’t getting out of there alone.”

  “I wish I would have known about Benji sooner,” my dad said. “There were a few times I thought he was acting weird, but I didn’t want to start a fight with Janice.”

  “Janice? How is she … and CJ?”

  “She’s … we’re still trying to process this.”

  “Are you getting a divorce?” I don’t know why I asked this. It wasn’t like I liked Janice or anything, but she’d been so good with CJ.

  “Her son tried to kill my daughter. That complicates things.”

  “What about CJ?”

  “I’m filing for custody.”

  “What about that cult?”

  He looked at his hands and shook his head. “She made it all up.”

  “But those boys …”

  “They help her scam people. You’re just another one of her victims. There is a warrant out for their arrests. All of them.” It probably should not have surprised me any. It wasn’t like she’d been the most caring mother. That did explain how she got into my house unnoticed. I was seriously beginning to doubt my judgment of character.

  We all looked when there was a knock on the door. It was Nadia. Her hair was in a bun and she seemed tired.

  She shuffled in the room. At this point I had most of my memories back. The trauma seemed to break them free this time instead of suppressing them.

  I remembered us singing into hairbrushes and lip syncing around my bedroom. I remembered shopping together and picking out matching bikinis. I remembered her celebrating with me when I told her about losing my virginity to Trey. Even if it hadn’t been with him. She’d loved him. I looked at her then at Trey. I didn’t deserve either.

  “I’m going to go see what we can do for Henry.” My dad left the room.

  “I’m sorry,” I said.

  “What for?” Nadia stepped closer to me, her hands twisting in front of her.

  “For everything. I was a horrible person.”

  “Don’t say that,” Nadia said.

  “I am. There were a lot of things you didn’t know about me.”

  “There were some you didn’t about me.” She countered. “Like how I was in love with your boyfriend.” She didn’t look at Trey as she said this, neither did I.

  “Was?”

  “I’m over it. I’m going to give Ryan a chance. He’s been bugging me forever and … even if I wanted to steal Trey, I’d never stand a chance he’s obviously madly in love with you.” This time she did look at him.

  “I don’t know if he is anymore.” I wasn’t sure if it mattered or not, because my heart belonged to Henry.

  “What? Why?” She said looking between us both.

  “It doesn’t matter,” Trey said.

  “Yes, it does. If I’d just been honest with everyone, none of this would have happened. I slept with Henry.”

  “Whoa, was that before or after I hooked up with him?” Her jaw dropped as she looked from Trey to me.

  “After.”

  “I really don’t want to hear this.” Trey’s fists clenched at his sides.

  “We broke up, again. I was upset and I went to Henry and one thing after another happened, then the next day we were back together.” I put my hands over my face. “I told you I’m a horrible person. I don’t blame you for hating me.”

  “First of all, I doubt he hates you. He did the same thing with Ambrosia, remember?” Nadia nudged Trey.

  “Right, but it wasn’t like he had feelings for her.” Tears streamed from my eyes. “Henry was my best friend. He has to be alright.”

  Nadia put a hand on mine. “He’s going to be okay. Your dad will help him. As for Trey, he doesn’t hate you.” She looked at him.

  “I would never hate you.” He nodded making his way toward me.

  “I’m sorry. Like I remember doing it but can’t remember my reasoning.”

  “You care about him.”

  “Yes.”

  He looked down at the floor.

  “Say something, please.”

  He took in a deep breath and ran his hand across the back of his neck. “Maybe we should … maybe we should talk about this when you’re better.”

  “I think waiting to talk about things is what got you two here in the first place.” Nadia said, then pointed a long finger nail to the door.

  Trey’s hands were shoved in the pockets of his dark jeans, which were covered in dirt, soot, and dried blood. He watched Nadia leave before turning to me. His eye watery, “Let’s not do this.”

  I knew him well enough to know it was not good if he didn’t want to talk things out.

  “Will you stay here with me?” I whispered.

  “I will.” He lowered himself in the chair by my bed.

  When I woke up, he was still here.

  He never left.

  He even drove me home when the hospital deemed me good enough to go. My dad was hesitant and wanted to bring me himself, but I insisted he stay with Henry. I wanted to stay with Henry too, but no one could see him but family. His mom still wasn’t a fan of mine.

  My house seemed oddly still and quiet. Benji’s bedroom door was open and empty. I felt a cold chill go up my spine and I went to the window and stared out at a burnt shed, surrounded by yellow caution tape.

  A knock on my door startled me. I turned to see Janice. Her hair was disheveled something I had never seen before.

  “I’m sorry.” She looked toward Benji’s room and took in a shaky breath.

  “I’m sorry, too.”

  “You don’t need to apologize.”

  “Are you and my dad getting divorced?”

  “If I’d known …” She stared straight ahead at the char that used to be our storage shed.

  “You had no way of knowing. None of us did.”

  “And we let him stay here to protect you.” She blinked her long lashes and shook her head, now looking right at me. “I’m still trying to process it all. Figure out what I did wrong.” She straightened her shoulder after dabbing the corner of her eye. “I better get going.” She began to turn.

  “Janice?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Who’s Makensie?”

  “What?”

  “Benji called me Makensie a couple of times.” It was weird letting his name fall out of my mouth.

  “Makensie was his high school girlfriend.” Janice gasped and put her hand to her mouth. “She … she was in an accident.”

  A lump rose to my throat.

  “I should’ve known. A mother should know things.”

  “Not always.” I thought about how much Janice was around for him. She talked to him, asked him questions. He only had to tell her what he wanted to.

  Trey walked in and Janice left. I wasn’t sure if I wanted this. To talk about what we were going to do. I’d already decided if he didn’t want to break up that it needed to happen anyway. No more bouncing back and forth between him and Henry like a ping pong ball.

  “So …” He shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans. These ones w
ere clean. He’d changed when we got here. He’d had a spare pair here in my room. He looked out the window.

  “So …” I echoed because I didn’t know what else to say.

  It was quiet for way too long I fidgeted with the strings on my hoodie.

  “Listen Sawyer …”

  “Trey.” I began at the same time.

  “Go ahead,” He said.

  “No, you.”

  “Really, what did you want to say?”

  I took a deep breath, trying to brace myself for this. It had to be final, our entire relationship was a train wreck. “I need to sit.” I was feeling better than when I first went in, but still weak.

  Trey nodded and helped me to the edge of my bed, as if I couldn’t walk on my own, then he sat by me. The girl in the mirror on the wall, again unrecognizable. My hair was a matted mess, dark rings were under my eyes. My lips were crusty especially where I’d been cut. Under my hoodie, I had bruises and chafing around my wrists.

  Trey’s arm fell around me. We looked each other through our reflections. Those eyes made it really hard to do this.

  “I … we’ve had our ups and downs. Plenty of them.” I twisted my fingers.

  “That we have.” In our reflection, his lips turned in a slight smile.

  “I know we always come back to one another.”

  “Yes.” He tilted his head, then looked away from me.

  “But I think we need to break up.”

  “You do?” He turned toward me now.

  “Yes. Please don’t try to talk me out of it this time. We both need some time to think about things, mature.”

  With tears trailing down his cheeks he swallowed and blinked before saying, “I agree.”

  I wasn’t sure if that surprised me or not. If I wanted him to fight me on this. It was what we needed. Now that I had the entirety of our relationship in my mind again, I did care about him. I did wonder what life was going to be like without him. But the thing I realized in the past couple weeks was that it was Henry I truly wanted to be with. He was the one who could make me laugh and forget everything else. He was the one that I got butterflies with. He was the one I couldn’t imagine living without.

  Trey lay his cheek on the top of my head and hugged me to his side. “I love you.”

  “Me too.” I tried be strong, to not cry. “We’re doing the right thing.” I said more for myself than for him.

  “Yeah.”

  We stayed like that for several minutes before he finally kissed the top of my head, then we looked at each other. He took my face between his hands. At that moment I wanted to call this off, to change my mind and tell him I didn’t mean it, that we could work this out. We always did. But then that would just put us right back where we had been before.

  He kissed me on the lips one last time. Then he stared at me. “This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Walk away from you.”

  “Me too.”

  “We can still be friends,” he said.

  I groaned, though totally agreed. “That’s the worst breakup line ever.”

  He laughed, “I know. But you’re the one who broke up with me, remember?” Like I’d forgotten what I’d said a few minutes ago.

  Then he was gone.

  And Janice was gone.

  I was left with my own thoughts and silence, waiting to hear news about Henry.

  Chapter 39

  I thought I’d cried all that I could cry in the last couple days, but seeing Henry, all bandaged up on that hospital bed, made the tears start again.

  “Sawyer don’t.” His voice was raspy and strained. He winced when he attempted a smile. He wasn’t allowed visitors yet, but my dad and his mom, which surprised me, made it happen. Still, I didn’t have much time. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and squeeze him if I knew it wouldn’t hurt him. I held my hands together to keep me from it.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “It’s not your …” He gasped. So many tubes, so many machines. He was barely himself, but he was here that’s all that mattered. “Fault.”

  “It is. I remember everything now. How much we … hurt one another.”

  “Don’t…” he winced again.

  I wanted closure. I needed it, but I couldn’t do this with him in this condition. I wasn’t sure if we could ever be what we were before, but I needed him to be okay.

  “Get better soon,” I said.

  “I plan to.” He struggled even with those three little words.

  My dad came in, dressed in his scrubs. He put his hand on my shoulder. “It’s time to go.”

  I shook my head as I watched Henry struggle to swallow. Something so simple, he couldn’t do. It broke my heart all over again.

  “Come on.” My dad tugged me out of the room.

  I was only allowed in here if I made it short. I had to see him. I took anything I could get at this point. Henry’s mom wasn’t thrilled about the idea, but Henry had been asking about me every time he woke.

  ***

  The rest of the school year went so fast. I wanted things to be back to normal. I went back to school as soon as I could. My friends didn’t abandon me like I always thought they would if Trey and I broke up. I still sat by Nadia at lunch. She and Ryan were now the group’s couple and they were adorable. How they joked around with one another was like watching a sitcom. Trey sat across from me instead of at my side. Drew still as funny and loud as always.

  Though things hadn’t changed with my friends, Henry didn’t come back to school. He had to have several skin graphs from the burns. My dad kept me updated. Henry’s mom didn’t want me there, but she’d agreed I could know what was going on. I guess we needed to be apart for real just as much as I needed to be apart from Trey. I didn’t need a boy anyway. I found my life was easier without one. I third wheeled it a few times with Nadia and Ryan, but it was fun tagging along. Sometimes Drew, Brendan, and Trey were all there too.

  It was weird to graduate without Henry. His name should have been called right after mine. There were times that made me think about that. How much we looked forward to this day. He used to swear he was going to graduate naked under his cap and gown. I guess that saved everybody from having to see that. I had always imagined this day with him by my side and it hurt that I was the reason he wasn’t. It’d been months since the incident and Henry was doing well from what my dad said. He was homeschooling to catch up on all the work that he’d missed.

  When I stepped off the stage, the bright sun beaming down on me, the cheers loud, I wasn’t prepared to see him sitting in the crowd. I wasn’t sure I was seeing things at first, his hair was back to blond and short. He had scars on his arms and legs, but very little on his face. He waved at me when we made eye contact, then he motioned like he was opening a robe, flashing somebody. I shook my head and laughed as I took my seat. I wanted to run to him, wrap my arms around him and hold on tight so he’d never leave but I had to stay here until this was over and I prayed that he’d still be here when we were done.

  My graduation couldn’t be over soon enough. Finally, we tossed our caps. My dad and CJ came down to the field. CJ on dad’s hip with his short big boy haircut. His legs were long and lanky “Yer-yer.” He reached his little arms out for me. He couldn’t say Sawyer.

  I picked him up and put my cap on his head. He giggled, pulling it off with both hands to examine it, he tugged it back on the tassel swinging between his eyes.

  “We’re proud of you, Sweetheart.” My dad tugged me into a sideways hug. My grandma snapped a picture of us. CJ went back to my dad.

  Our class was small, but it seemed like the royal blue caps and gowns were everywhere. A tap on my shoulder made hope bubble in my chest, when I turned, it was for good reason. Henry stood there, a smile on his face, shades covering his eyes. I didn’t even wait for him to say anything before I wrapped him in a hug. “You should be in a cap and gown.”

  He laughed a deep laughter in my ear. His arms came around my waist. “I don’t think anyone wa
nts to see this scarred up bod.”

  “I don’t mean only a cap and gown.” The hug broke, but I left a hand on him. Like if I let go, he’d disappear. “You dork.”

  He smirked down at me and it did things to my stomach even after months of not seeing one another. “Awe, but would there be any other way to graduate?”

  “Still you should be.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “You’re not because …”

  “Because I saved your life.”

  And yes, he probably did. Benji’s trial would be soon. He wasn’t just being tried for kidnapping me, but for Makensie’s mysterious death as well.

  “I know, thanks.”

  “It was worth it.” His arm tightened around me.

  “I wasn’t sure I was going to see you again.” I wasn’t sure why I was bringing this up with a sea of our classmates roaming around.

  Henry shrugged. “Had to look beautiful before I could let you see me again.”

  “Henry Nash, my man.” Ryan patted him on the back then fist bumped him. Soon all my friends, then classmates were gathered around us. Making it impossible for me to visit with Henry. Before I knew it, we were taking a ton of pictures with my friends then Henry was gone just as quickly as he’d appeared.

  It wasn’t until later that night, when all the family had gone home, the cake had been eaten and the cards opened, CJ was sleeping all sticky and dirty faced on the sofa, my dad and I cleaning when the doorbell rang.

  “I got it.” I called with arm load of plastic cups.

  Honestly, I expected Nadia, Drew, or even Trey to pull me away to Ryan’s party. Instead, there stood Henry. I wasn’t sure I was going to see him again. This time he didn’t have sunglasses covering his eyes and he held a couple of yellow flowers in his hand, they still had the roots attached. “Hey.” He smiled.

  “Hey.”

  He held the flowers out to me.

  “Where did you pick these?” I laughed.

  He smirked and lifted a shoulder. “My mom’s got tons, she won’t miss ‘em.”

  “Thanks.”

  “So …” He ran his hand across the back of his neck. “Ryan invited me to a party.”

  “Okay.” I fidgeted with the flowers.